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Being Comfortably Unhappy

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Being comfortably unhappy is something that has become more apparent to me in this day and age then ever before- so we’re going to break the cycle in today’s episode.

LAS009: Being Comfortably Unhappy

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What does this phrase mean?

Many of us have experienced this at some point in our lives. We tell ourselves we’re well. We surround ourselves with people that make us feel safe but also don’t stretch us past our comfort zones.

We fall prey to low self esteem and a clouded vision due to loss, divorce, etc and we give up and stay stuck where our potential is gone and our happiness has been lost. Instead of searching for those things, we tell ourselves it is easier to stay stuck in those unhappy situations. 

I had a client who was stuck with her husband at the time in a brand new city all alone. She had no outlets and was living for him daily. While he worked at his job all day she was left with no friends, no gym and a list of chores and shopping to do. She found herself stuck in a rut of people pleasing and low self worth. She knew that her husband wasn’t living up to her needs and she knew that this would never change. 

He loved his job first, and everyone else second.

Many people give up trying so that the other party won’t feel threatened. They tell themselves it’ll get better and that their loved one will change but what truly has happened is that we have given up on ourselves.

This is not love. Love is when you want the best for the other person and work to build them up instead of not tearing them down. It is a verb; an action word. Her ex loved his job which didn’t leave much love for her.

She took his crumbs and was trying to make a meal of it. 

She spent her life diluting herself for fear of leaping into the unknown. Surrounding ourselves with people who don’t have the same interests and desires as us stunts our growth. It sets us up to fail and make us unhappy. People who are willing to change are open to new opportunities. They will make the adjustments necessary to move into the next level of their lives.

This sounds exhausting.

Another client was married to a successful executive in the RV business. The job required constant travel which led to temptations to meet new people. Soon, she found herself in an unhappy marriage. 

My client became comfortable until the other women became a problem. She told herself she could deal with the stress and long absences until she realized he had had multiple affairs. 

Her comfort level had tipped. The scales had moved in the other direction. 

Ask yourself what tips your scales.

Define for yourself what makes you so uncomfortable.

Success, money and travel are the envy of many. With these things, however, comes a price. Many people sacrifice happiness in search of more success or money. 

But had no happiness. 

The long lasting feeling we should search for is joy. Joy comes from your heart and in service to others. You will find that if you do things to benefit other people’s happiness, you will feel joy.

It’s important to be honest with yourself. Many people are able to complain about the things in their life they don’t enjoy, but few are able to walk away from what doesn’t bring them happiness any longer. 

You’ll remember Summer, the trainer from episode 6 – she was uncomfortable in her job with her boss and without solid plans she leapt into the unknown and started her own business. She knew she couldn’t stay in an unhealthy environment any longer even though the alternative was not laid out for her to see.  

What tips the scales for you?

Answer honestly and you can work towards finding the happiness you’re searching for. 

Make sure to check out the checklist on how to break the cycle of being comfortably unhappy. 

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Jennifer Deputy-2.jpg

Hello, I'm Jennifer Deputy

I am a writer, blogger, and traveler. Being creative and making things keep me happy is my life's motto.

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